ASK DIVA DIANA

Dear Diva Diana,

How can I show my ex that I still love him?

Dear Anonymous,

To show your ex that you still love him will take time and certainly won’t happen overnight. It is important that you show it because just saying it means nothing without the actions as evidence. What I suggest you do is first and foremost be there for him. Start off small even if that means sending good morning texts every morning or maybe just hitting hit him up randomly during the day just to “check on him”. PATIENCE is KEY!!!! You have to remember that he is your ex for a reason and to make sure you don’t fall into the same traps that strained the relationship in the first place. I also challenge you to think about why you and your ex didn’t work out and think to yourself if you really need to be loving him. Hope you are going to do what is best for YOU!!!! Good Luck =)

-Diva Diana

Dear Diva Diana,

Why is it that most bisexual men struggle with there identity of rather they would like to be straight or gay? Why is it that they are so confused in the brain that they must stay to one side? What causes this?

Dear Anonymous,

When it comes to bi-sexual men you are talking about three possible reasons why they would take on that label or title of bi-sexual. One reason is that maybe they feel negatively for already having to take on the fact that they have had homosexual relations so what the man tries to do is he tries to (in his mind) “salvage” himself by saying “Okay I still have a straight side so I’m not as bad as a full homosexual”. Another reason that a man calls himself bi-sexual is that he is afraid of judgement of other people. People have a lot of negative feelings about bi-sexuality and even worst ones about homosexuality. In other words the “straight” half of the man is like his own personal safe haven from the homosexual “attacks” of others. My final reason that a man would take on the title of bi-sexual could be that the man actually likes both sexes which is the actual definition of bi-sexual. Of course i believe that there is always a factor tipping the balance I never believe when it comes to bi-sexual men that there is a 50/50 attraction to both males and females. However when it comes to sexuality i disagree with your statement i do not believe that a man must limit himself to one sex if he is attracted to both sexes. At the end of the day that man is going to be what he believes he is in his head regardless if people tell him he is fully gay or vice versa.

-Diva Diana

Dear Diva Diana,

Ok, so you have this boy that you have been interested in for about a year now and just recently he confessed that he was interested in you as well. So, obviously ya’ll start a relationship. The first week goes by well like in any other fresh relationship but around the second week, the only time ya’ll happen to talk is at school and after school practices. Never at home and if any conversation does happen outside of school , it’s only a brief texting convo. Should I be suspicious? Like wonder if he’s cheating? Or should I trust that he’s being honest and go with the flow unless he gives me a reason to think he’s up to something?

Dear Anonymous,

I don’t think that you should be suspicious of him cheating, especially since he hasn’t given you any reason to think so. What I suggest you do is talk to him and let him know that you feel neglected. If his schedule is so full that he can’t make time for you then I suggest you either come up with some kind of compromise in which he has some kind of schedule in which that time he solely dedicates to you or maybe this just isn’t the time to be dedicated to a relationship if the two of you don’t have time to dedicate yourselves to a relationship and should remain close and try again later. I suggest you reflect and think to yourself if you rushed into the relationship.

-Diva Diana

Dear Diva Diana,

My boyfriend and I are celebrating our one year anniversary this Thursday. He has a lot of activities planned for us and I feel bad because I don’t have a job right now and I’m not contributing anything to the celebration and it makes me feel bad because I am used to being able to help with the finances. What could I do to help make our anniversary the best?

-Anonymous 🙂

Dear Anonymous,

Awww Well First-Off Congratulations, I’m proud that you made it this far and I hope that you will be celebrating many more anniversaries =). All the activities and plans are great but don’t forget that the TRUE meaning of an anniversary is commemorating the day that you began dating your boyfriend. Your anniversary is the time when you look back and see how the relationship has grown and how the two of you have grown individually. Money shouldn’t even be mentioned because then it will lead to a competition of who spent more and the celebration will become superficial. My advice to you is just show your boyfriend how much love you have for him by just being there and spending the day with him. Even if you two share a cup of Ramen Noodles or go out to a 5-star restaurant the fact that you two can look into each others eyes and even hold each other is PRICELESS. The Best Anniversary can NOT be bought. Have A GREAT 1st Year Anniversary =)

-Diva Diana

Dear Diva Diana,

I’ve been dating a man for about eight weeks now and it’s starting to get serious, which is cool because I’ve been looking for a long-term relationship. Lately, though, a couple of things have started to bother me. First, I only have his cell number, and when I asked him for a home phone he got kind of defensive and changed the subject. And we never go to his place because he says it’s too far “out of my way.”

Do you think this is a “I’m not out to my family” situation or does he have a boyfriend? I know that I could be worried about nothing, but it’s happened to me before and I don’t want to go through that BS again. How do I find out if he’s involved?

-Dan

Hey Dan,

My advice is to sit him down and have an intimate talk. The problem needs to be addressed immediately. Otherwise it has potential to hinder the progression of the relationship. I personally feel that this is an “I’m not out to my family” situation. If it is a situation regarding another man I’m sure you would have noticed some inconsistencies after eight weeks. Nonetheless, ask him straight up and do NOT let the conversation switch topics. He maybe just afraid of ‘coming out’ to his family and if that’s the case, help him deal with it. This would be a perfect opportunity for the both of you to grow closer as friends and partners.

-Diva Diana

Dear Diva Diana,

I am a 22-year-old bi-sexual man. I came out when I was 16 and since then I’ve enjoyed an active dating life. I’ve always been comfortable with my sexuality. Three months ago, however, I tested HIV-positive and since then feel like I have to come out all over again. I haven’t been able to start dating yet because I’m afraid of how people will react when I tell them about my “situation.” Plus, I don’t know what the rules are. What do I tell people? When do I tell people? And, if safe sex really is safe, do I have to tell them at all? And mostly I’m afraid (although I know it sounds crazy) that no one’s ever going to love me again.

-Anonymous

Dear Anonymous,

I’m very glad to hear that you are comfortable with your sexuality; this is a hurdle that many men do not come to terms with so seriously. Kudos to you =). I will say that when it comes to HIV in the dating scene many do see it as a dating deterrent; however, that does not mean the end of your dating life. There are many people, myself included, who are comfortable dating HIV-Positive men. Furthermore, when it comes to the “rules” there are none, but first and foremost, you need to educate yourself. Learn how HIV works and affects the body, as well as how it is transmitted.

Besides educating yourself, honesty is key! When you are telling people, be straight up. Beating around the bush will only make you feel negative anxiety about dating. However, this isn’t T that you causally spill; this is personal T and should be told to those that you plan on being intimate with, even if you use protection. It is that person’s right to know what is being dealt with; Deception Can Be Deadly. Even a deeply intimate kiss has potential to transmit HIV. My advice to you is do not let the disease define you and DON’T YOU DARE BE DISCOURAGED! You ARE loved and WILL continuously be loved. There isn’t a doubt in my mind that you will find the right person who will love you regardless.

-Diva Diana